IN REARVIEW // January 2016

31.1.16

TWLOHA book

Just when we'd paused to catch our breaths in the wake of the Christmas rush, there appeared January on the horizon, crashing towards us with 2016 ready to break on the shore. 

Before we'd even had time to exhale, there were bells ringing, Edinburgh's fireworks exploding on TV and the sound of glass meeting glass in our parents' living room as we Cheers!'d our way through another Hogmanay. January 1st heard the house fill up with more and more sounds - of plates being cleared, dogs being chased, whistles being played, and much laughter reverberating - as we took advantage of that strange "celebratory" day and enjoyed it as a chance to be together, doing family.

And then came the silence of the following days: that stillness as the world settles back into its regular rhythm and the holidays give way to old routines. Except, I'm still signed off sick from my routine - tired and sluggish, wrapped up like a bear in hibernation, just waiting out the days for light to break. 

It's been a long month. 

Walking the canal - Spain

But there was the reprieve of that trip to Spain - which, while not without its own difficulties (the guilt of going at all when I can't go to work; fraught with tensions over food; embarrassingly excusing myself for a much-needed nap most afternoons), brought about the laughter of old friends and a little more warmth and light from the sun. Did I mention how good it was to see the sun?! 

Sun and palm tree - Spain


After that it was back to Scotland and back to plodding slowly through the streets and the days, trying to keep myself busy while simultaneously wanting to curl up into a ball and never be seen. 

I need to find somewhere to live in the next five or so weeks, so much of my time has been spent on the endless searching-for and occasional visiting-of flats. With the odd letter from the hospital or the council popping along to bring some additional "fun", I'm ending the month feeling a tad overwhelmed and much in need of an "adultier adult" to come along and sort my life out.  

I'll get there, though.

I'd love to say that I have lots of plans and good intentions for February - alas, I do not. I'm not sure what the month holds: whether I'll find a place to live; what the doctors will say; if or when I'll manage back to work.. There's a heavy cloud of uncertainty hanging over the next 29 days and my real goal is just to make it out the other side of that. Anything more is a bonus!

Fortune cookie - hope brings about a better future


I hope 2016 has started off well for everyone else. Have a great month!

xo

2 comments:

  1. Hi Laura, I'm so glad you got to Spain. No guilt! Life is for living and there is no adequate measurement (except, in my opinion, God's). I hope things will unfold easily for you this month on all fronts. I know just what you mean about wishing for an "adultier adult" to take over!!! When I get overwhelmed by officialdom and admin, sometimes I pretend that I'm just a temp who has come in to sort things out, with no backstory, and no fear of The System. Because I know if it were someone else's admin, I would plow through it without too much angst, usually. Take care Xox

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  2. Hi Laura, fingers cross for you! I am sure there is a very nice, cosy flat waiting for you in Granite City!
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