IN REARVIEW // March 2016

31.3.16


I knew that March was going to be an odd little month, long before it ever began.

As the month arrived, I was busy packing up our flat ready to move back to my parents' house, unsure of how long I would be there or where I would move onto next. It was a strange period, tinged with sadness at leaving behind the wee flat that I had grown to love, and all the uncertainty left me feeling a little like I was sacrificing the independence I had worked so hard to gain. 

I get on well with my parents and so had no issues going back to their house, enjoying the company of both them and the animal menagerie, but the transition from the city back to that small town - where everyone knows everyone else - made me feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable.



Thankfully, I wasn't there for too long and I'm now back in the city after just three weeks away from it. Woop!  

It's not necessarily a long-term solution, but it's a place from which I can settle enough to turn my attention to the next big goal: getting back to work! I've made zero progress in that department this month, but I hope that by the end of next month I'll have a clear plan in place about how and when I get back. 

It's been something of an uphill struggle this month, but I feel like I've finally begun making positive steps.


Otherwise, this month seems to have been spent doing lots of driving, a little bit of running, and eating lots of food! 

It was my dad's 50th birthday towards the end of the month, but we knew he would be offshore on the day and so organised a bit of a celebration before he went away. Under the guise of a Mother's Day treat, we had arranged a family gathering at CUE Barbecue, surprising him with balloons, cake, presents and more members of the clan than he knew about. We had an epic feast and he seemed to get a genuine surprise. 

The following week we paid a visit to the Cat In The Window cafe; picked up an extra special dress (*squee!*) ; and then I got to attend that Revolution blogger event.

These blogger socials have been really useful for me recently, providing a practice ground for managing my anxiety around social interactions, with the unusual safety net of a group that are in some ways still strangers, yet in other ways not, thanks to planet internet. 

These experiences have mostly been a success, but my attendance at another event towards the end of the month was just.. not. A "Supper Safari" at Union Square (more on that to follow), it was a really clever concept of an event that I ordinarily would have loved. For no apparent reason, though, I found myself particularly struggling that day, both with anxiety and a horrendous body image, and the quantity of food brought on something of a meltdown. It was humiliating and I had to duck out early to go and sob in my car. 

But hey.. we live and learn! 

The end of the month was all about Easter - church events and a funny vegan Easter egg hunt with my nephew in the back yard - and it's been so nice to have lighter evenings now the clocks have changed and we've been graced with the presence of the sun. 

Here's hoping that's a sign of what lies on the horizon as we enter into April (can you believe it?!) and face another month...

xo

5 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Can't get rid of me that easily! hehe :) xo

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  2. You re not alone in feeling daunted by these things. I found my first bloggers meet a bit awkward (and I knew someone -(hi Sarah!) there!), when you're not used to meeting lots of new people at once it's quite overwhelming, for me too anyway. I was sort of relieved I didn't go to Safari Supper as I knew two blogger events in one week would be a bit much for me. Anyway Congrats on your new living space and good luck with the job search! :-)

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  3. Hey there, Laura, nice to catch up with your news. I'm so pleased you were able to get back into the city so quickly. Sorry about the difficult evening. But it sounds like that was a blip in an overall good picture. I wish you the best of luck getting back to work. I say to my daughter, I am very proud of you because I have some idea of what a struggle every day is. She naturally doesn't want to come across as someone who is struggling, and hides her challenges (physical / mental / emotional etc) very well most of the time. And that is fine - but it's also good I think to have people who care for us acknowledge how strong we actually have to be sometimes just to seem uneventful (I won't say "normal" as I don't believe in that). So: go you! Xox

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